well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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