Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(956): View more from Texas

She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.

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(630): View more from Illinois

you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.

Fav 5 6041 1981
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(646): View more from New York

its my first week of college and i have a UTI

(718): View more from New York

not easy being a whore now is it

Fav 23 1722 4921
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.

Fav 17 1284 4611
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(573): View more from Missouri

You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.

Fav 7 2151 1144
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(214): View more from Texas

I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me

Fav 10 1752 1161
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.

Fav 8 1650 735
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(240): View more from Maryland

He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.

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(614): View more from Ohio

You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?

(1-614): View more from Ohio

Just the cushions

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