i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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