Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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