don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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