You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
