I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
