he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
