My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
