Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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