One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
