Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
