I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
