then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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