Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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