I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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