and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
