I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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