Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
What changed your mind?
Being sober
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
