im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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