and you said cock pushups were impossible
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
