is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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