theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
