Christians are straight up FREAKS
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
