There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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