I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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