At least make sure they are 18
Why
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
