Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
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