their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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