I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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