sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
