You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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