i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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