Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
