You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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