I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
