Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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