Whod you bang
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
