the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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