I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
i think im in europe. pls send help
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
