well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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