Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
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