Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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