you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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