I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
