I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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