think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
