You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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