How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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