Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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